Miscarriage:  One of the hardest things a woman goes through, mostly Alone.

When a pregnancy ends in miscarriage it is devastating to both expectant parents.  There is an emotional loss, and hormonal changes for Mum.  These are hard!  Grief, Sadness, Guilt are normal emotions that are experienced.   The loss can run deep.

Pregnancy is joyous, exciting and nerve racking at the same time.  I remember my first pregnancy.  Wondering if I was going to have a girl or a boy.  Would they hear the music I was playing?  What stage of development am I at now?  Should I slow down in work?  I remember leaving all stresses behind and focusing on being calm, relaxed and I loved the feeling of being pregnant.

Then all of a sudden I felt exhausted, I started to feel unwell and a sadness started to come over me.  The process of loss had started and continued until my body finally let go of my baby.  I was 10 weeks pregnant, but I was told the pregnancy had not developed as it should.  My body and my baby had to let go of each other.

When the pregnancy ended I felt a huge loss of my dreams, my wishes for my baby, for the future of what their life could be.  I never realised how much I really wanted to be a mother until I started to feel that I was going to be a mother.  Consolation did not good.  I didn’t see my little baby as a “blip” or a “peanut”  to me my baby was developed in my mind.  I was grieving.

What Happens Next

While I was dealing with the emotions around loss I was in a waiting game.  Healing – v’s – Progression  –  And lots of Questions

  • When will my next period come?
  • Is it ok to try again soon?
  • Am I ready to go through this again?
  • Will I miscarry again?
  • How can I stop this happening?
  • What went wrong the last time?
  • Why did it happen to me?
  • Do I want to “try again soon”
  • How can I “try again” when I am just soo bloody depressed by it all.

I was not told anything by medical staff about hormone changes.  No explanation of what to expect or what reasons there are for miscarriage.  It was “just one of those things”.  I didn’t understand, and neither did my partner.  The change in my mood was hard, for me, for my partner, and my family.

I reached out to a friend that had gone through the experience of miscarriage. She responded. And for the first time I felt heard and understood. This is a time when women realise the importance of having a female support circle.

The Recovery Period

I was told to take time off and rest.  I lost my baby at Christmas.  The first outing I had was at the end of the January sales. It was hard!

I heard people say that after having a miscarriage you start to see pregnant women everywhere.  And that is what happened.  I felt surrounded by them.  I saw baby clothes Everywhere.  It’s not something that I had noticed before.  I felt so fragile. It was a test and a step in the process of healing and recovery.

Falling Pregnant Again

I decided not to put pressure on myself to conceive and told myself my body would heal in time. Gentle exercise, nice healthy food and early nights were my goal.

I fell pregnant in May.  I saw the results of the home pregnancy test but I was not excited about the positive result.  My previous bad experience of miscarriage had taken away the joy and excitement. I became cautious and worried about another miscarriage.  At that time the only support I got from the medical world was “Eat normally, Take some rest.  Pregnancy is not an illness.  You will be fine.
There is no reason to think you will miscarry again”.

Thankfully my pregnancy was uneventful and I delivered a healthy baby the following February.

Healing After Miscarriage

You may think it strange but I never healed from my miscarriage until 10 years later. I had 3 beautiful healthy children. But something was lingering. I knew logically I could not have my first born, and have had the child I miscarried. The timing was not possible. But I never felt I let go of the loss of my first pregnancy. I finally admitted it during a Homeopathic consultation.

I was prescribed a Homeopathic remedy to heal my sorrows after miscarriage and help me to let go. That month I finally let go of my first little baby during a walk on the beach.  The ache in my heart eased.

I see many women in my practice who have lost a baby through miscarriage and still carry that sorrow. They ask me for help to conceive and have a good pregnancy. The first thing I do is help them with their sorrow. If I don’t they can carry that sorrow, like I did, for years. I can hear the sorrow lifting in their voice in less than a week. And a new perspective and outlook. It’s quite magical.

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